how does it feel,
not being able to there anymore?
Haven't been blogged a proper post since the new year. I haven't been summarising up my 2009 or given a proper thought of my 2010 aspects yet, and more than one week of the hopeful brand new year has flown by.
2009, the year i ever felt so loved. Throughout my eighteen years of life, my first time ever spending valentine's day with a boyf not a friend. Experience many 'first time's, ups and downs. Learnt so much about army life and terms, so proud of my self-learning abilities. Had the best good times and the worst bad times, including getting a huge fugly scar. Lesson taken and learnt. Thank you. Thank you for letting me believe there's such happiness around. Thank you for making me stronger going through all the bad.
Shocking twisted birthday this year. People who was initially suppose to celebrate went missing, people who didn't plan to celebrate turned up with the most touching gift. Oh well, it's the last teen birthday, imma getting old not really a good idea to celebrate birthdays anymore.
Met fresh faces towards the end of the year. Mad bunch of people making me feel relinquished and so young again. Awesomely stunned by extreme energy able to stay up til wee hours after laughing the whole day out. Lovely, my laughing bones make me feel young i guess?
For the new year ahead, i guess it's time to learn how to move on. I need a sense of direction, i need someone else to be there. I hear love birds chirping on friends around me, i ought to feel happy for them but i feel selfish and awfully jealous. Is this the monster that has grown in me and brought forward along with me for the new year? If it is, great. How to fucking move on with muthafucker.